Accidental ageism is real. Here’s how to avoid it.
I am aging ungracefully, fighting it at every turn. Which means I’m likely the last person who should give advice on this topic. But as a woman who hires for a living – both for myself, and on behalf of my clients – I unfortunately know a thing or two about ageism and how it impacts a candidate’s hire-ability.
I can’t turn a 60-something into a 20-something, nor do I share the opinion of some recruiters that candidates should show 10 years or so on their resumes in order to appear younger or fresher on the scene. While that tactic may land you an interview, it won’t get you hired. Relationships built on lies generally don’t succeed. Instead, I suggest we examine what may really be at issue in perceived ageism and analyze what, if anything, can be done to combat such perceptions.
First, a disclaimer: Some people are just bigoted ageists, just as some are racists, sexists and homophobes. And while any discrimination is always unlawful or unacceptable, this post isn’t about the legal rights of victims of discrimination. Forjust this post, I’m assuming all people are inherently good; that their motives are pure. In this light, what might drive a manager’s fear of hiring someone on the other side of 50 or 60? How might you proactively address these fears – both on paper and in person?
No one discusses why hiring managers may be worried about bringing on “older” workers. It’s dangerous ground. But allow me to break code and dissect it for you: It’s not about your age. Instead, many managers’ fear of hiring someone 50+ may stem from what I call FOGIES syndrome. Some managers assume, based on age and years of experience, that you will be:
F– a Fuddy Duddy
O- Outdated (with your technology skills)
G- Geared up for a fight, (a.k.a. stubborn)
I- Independent (or, a non-team player); or generally,
E- Exhausted
S- Short-term
OK, so I’ve already broken my own cardinal rule and created a cutesy way of saying this. But allow me this indulgence. Look past ageism from the “I’m so old so, they aren’t considering me” perspective and instead get ahead of some of the negative assumptions managers may make about you. In general, a 20- or 30-something manager fears you more than you fear them. Consider this: In many companies, newer managers are judged for bad hires despite never having been trained in the art of management. Their fear can force them to make the immediate assumption that someone over 50 might be tough to manage. They decide not to hire someone who may have outdated technology skills will be so set in their ways that anything suggested will lead to a confrontation. They may not believe someone who is about 10 years from retirement has the energy and stamina to put in the work necessary for the manager’s team to succeed. And, worse, will you be a culture fit? Will you be a stick in the mud or unwilling to work collaboratively, as the “youngsters” all do, these days?
I do understand that there is seemingly no difference between discrimination and drawing conclusions based on generalizations or assumptions. But, what good does it do for you to ignore the way people actually do think regardless of how they should think? Why fail interview after interview, simply because all of the above assumptions were hidden obstacles you could have proven wrong before the hiring manager had a chance to think them?
Here are some ways to avoid being FOGIES:
Fuddy Duddy? Sorry to say, but you need cultural relevance. Before meeting with people 10-20 years older than I am, I make a conscious effort to learn about actors, movies, shows, political figures and musical artists relevant to their timeframe. I don’t refer to it as “old people” music; I learn just enough to be relevant. The same holds true for interviewing people 10-20 years younger than I am. Most educated grownups pride themselves on not watching the Bachelor, and consider the Kardashians and similar shows to be unworthy of their energy. And while I am not suggesting you turn your XM station to EDM, I do suggest you read a few blogs and update your general cultural relevance. Know enough to nod and smile. Don’t call it “the Snapchat.” Have at least a basic, functional knowledge of text-speak and Instagram hashtags. Be you, but be an informed you.
Outdated (with technology)? This one is easier to overcome – once you know about this possible preconception. Simply pepper your resume with modern technology and be able to speak to a love of tinkering. Be ready to mention an app you can’t live without. Ask a 20-year old, a 30-year old, and a 40-year old what new technology each has learned this year or last, and familiarize yourself with those. Check out sites like Lynda.com, where, for about $20 a month, you can get training on all kinds of software and apps. In other words, demonstrate that you are always learning and growing, and remain steadfast in your desire to stay current.
Geared up for a Fight? You’re probably not geared up for a fight, but a younger hiring manager may think you are. Did you know before you interviewed with a 30-something recruiter or hiring manager that she just had an argument with her mother? This has absolutely nothing to do with you, right? Wrong. We all judge people based on our own life experiences. Test your interview answers for defensiveness. Put forth stories that highlight where you have happily compromised, resolved a disagreement, or encouraged others to make their own decisions. Prove you’re going to be this newer manager’s ally, who wants her to look good, and that you’re not going to challenge her at every turn.
Independent? Sigh, those Millennials do love them a group project, don’t they? And what’s with those open work spaces? Doesn’t anyone want privacy anymore? That’s what the 20- or 30-something manager may expect you to think. Did you know that when you’re being interviewed in 2017, you’re being sized up for their eagerness to be a part of a team on which you are a member? With this in mind, add “collaboration”-type buzz words to your resume, and be ready to speak to a love of all things “sharing”. Remember to read up on the company culture in advance and if, “We believe the magic happens in the hallway” appears in a company’s main mantras, be ready to showcase your love of spontaneous brainstorming. Avoid complaining about meetings, and “time wasters” from your previous roles, as managers may assume this means you despise all things collaboration.
Exhausted? When I was 30, I was never going to be 50, let alone 60. That was “old”. Now that those milestones are creeping up on me, and I know that age really is nothing more than a number, I have a different attitude. But back then, the idea of still having the energy to give my all to the often mundane minutiae of work seemed implausible. With this shocking revelation in mind, read through those verbs on your resume. Are they active or passive? Did you “lead” or “launch” that program? How about your social media profile? Are you president of the gardening club, PTA, and the HOA or are you an avid runner and president of the rowing club? How about your profile pictures? Are you squinting in the sun, with an SPF-proof floppy hat, or climbing Machu Picchu?
Short-Term? Show you’re in it for the long-haul. Let’s face it, most people aren’t going to be able to retire at 55 or 60 like their parents might have between 1960 and 2000. In a perfect world, you’re interviewing because you want a change and you simply can’t imagine taking up space in the world without contributing your own brand of intelligence and savvy – and getting rewarded for it with a paycheck. But be careful to show how much you want to work, not just that you need to work. Come ready to share your enthusiasm, your passion for your craft, anecdotes of things that have gone well and even things gone wrong that you were able to fix. Be present. Be engaged. Show you’re dedicated. Be the energy in the room. Demonstrate that you’re not going to bail and retire tomorrow.
The truth is, 20+ years of experience is always valuable. But if I sense that I can’t manage you or that you won’t adapt, I may we wary of employing you – whether you’re 20 or 70. You can do what many do and throw in the towel, singing the woes of an ageist workforce that won’t give you a break. Separate yourself from the FOGIES and see if it helps. Let me know how it works!
