We have all been on the receiving end – and probably the projecting end – of an insincere apology. Whether it’s, “Sorry you don’t agree, but…” or “Sorry, you feel that way…,” the insincere apology either allows one party to feel absolved of a transgression without admitting wrongdoing or it proves that the wrongdoer is simply an ass. It’s preferable, frankly, if the party apologizing is just an ass – or even stupid. But unfortunately, many insincere apologies are misguided attempts to neutralize a misstep. In other words, they’re “lip service” – a waste of syllables. And in the case of corporate or government missteps, #sorrynotsorry can be costlier than the mistake itself.
I’ve been thinking about whether every corporate failure requires the same kind of apology. In answering that, I realized there are several different kinds of corporate mishaps. In the last few weeks alone, a variety of public snafus led to some very public apologies, some more effective than others. And anyone in business – particularly those of us in consumer services – knows that the apology itself is often as important as righting a wrong.
First, let’s separate public mishaps into three basic categories:
Lapse of Judgment: This type of mistake occurs when someone simply misjudges his or her (or its) audience. Perhaps a joke goes over poorly or a TV ad misses its mark. You know, something like comparing cancer to “weight loss without dieting” or using Kendall Jenner in a Pepsi ad.
Failure to Follow Company Standards: This one falls nicely under the corporate umbrella. Did Wells Fargo sales execs act on their own or in accordance with company policy? Would United have really wanted a seated passenger physically dragged off of a plane or was this an unsanctioned act by an overzealous gate agent with the help of Chicago Aviation Department police?
Stupidity: This category covers those acts that simply cannot be explained away, such as suffering historical amnesia and stating that that Hitler did not use chemical weapons, or not thinking before you repeat someone else’s alternative facts.
Proper apologies depend on you first knowing which type of mishap you’re addressing. For those of you with kids, consider it this way: When one kid hits his brother, drawing blood, what does the hitting child inevitably say? “I’m sorry; it was an accident.” This is a perfectly lovely apology, had the incident been an accident. But in a lapse of judgment or stupidity situation – common to sibling fights – there was no accident. “I meant to hit him; sorry it caused him to bleed enough for this to be noticeable to grownups” would be more accurate, and nearly as sincere.
So, what apology is appropriate for a Lapse of Judgment?
This misstep calls for swift and unequivocal accountability. Think about it as the, “Wow, I messed up” apology, and say little else. No one wants to hear why. I mean, really, does it matter why no one in all of Pepsi’s entire corporate marketing world thought a Kardashian, a can of Pepsi and Black Lives Matter – all in one commercial – made no sense? Statements like, “Clearly, we missed the mark” are better than an explanation. A nod toward a good intention might work (“In our attempt to create a message of unity…), followed by a simple mea culpa (“… we missed the mark.”), will leave your customers more likely to accept what you said at face value. You screwed up? We all screw up. Noted. Now, don’t do it again!
What about the apology for Failure to Follow Company Standards?
The meltdown associated with this failure is perhaps the trickiest of the three and should be analyzed accordingly. Can you point to a clear policy that directly contradicts the wrong that has been committed? If so, the prudent act is to distance your company from the committer of the wrong in question. Can you – in good faith – feign ignorance? If so, your company now has the ability to respond by showing shared moral outrage at this horrifying – but isolated –incident. Your apology should include promises of remediation, retraining, investigation, etc. But before you tell the world you are “shocked” by this one-time occurrence, you better make sure it is, indeed, the first time.
The apology for Stupidity is usually the same, everywhere.
When people do stupid things, even if they can prove they were following orders, they’re usually left holding the bag. This sucker of a scapegoat finds herself alone on her island very quickly. The apology here depends on the moron’s relationship to you or to your organization. If you are the moron, the only apology is the “Sorry. I was wrong” sort. The magnitude of your stupidity weighed against other current events will dictate the level to which your idiocy will remain etched in people’s brains. Usually you get a pass until your next asinine utterance, at worst. But if the gravely stupid move was committed by anyone lower on the food chain than first-in-command, termination is the correct apology. “We have no idea what that guy was thinking.” Move swiftly, but not overnight. Make your disdain known. “Sorry, Stupid. You’re fired.”
In the end, no one will really care if your actions were justified, if any law was broken or even if you showed a complete lack of judgment. If you assure your customer that you agree with the public’s outrage and utter even the briefest of sincere apologies, your chances of withstanding – and ending – the PR storm are strong.
